Are you familiar with the Giving Tree? It's a children's book and parable about unconditional love all in one. Beautiful, right? Being a fable, of course, is its failing in some ways.
So here's what probably really happened to the giving tree.
The Giving Tree found itself supremely unhappy. The boy would often complain tacitly about all that the tree had lost, because it had been freely given out of love. The tree could not bear disappointing the boy. For years, it was wracked with doubt as to whether it was worthy of the boy's love, such as it was. Those thoughts tormented it, and when the tree would state in front of the boy "Oh, but I chose to give you my fruit, my branches, and my trunk because I loved you, and so in my eyes there really wasn't a choice as to whether I should give these things or not. I am upset to hear it has reduced your enjoyment of me. That is not what I wanted."
The boy, of course, reacted to that by telling the tree, incredulously: "What????? I never suggested you should make that choice rather than choose to put yourself first. I asked for things that I would have liked to have, but I never said that you should give them to me. You can't suddenly tell me you're unhappy about having given up your apples/branches/trunk freely. I neither wanted nor enjoyed that sacrifice. BTW, I make sacrifices too. But I don't go around telling people how unhappy I am. Perhaps it's because I think those things through a lot more than you do."
The tree did not know what to do. Those words told it that maybe its hunch that it was not worthy of the boy's love, such as it was, was absolutely on target. So for years and years, it felt itself and its love wither, and struggle with guilt at that.
One day, the boy mentioned how the tree not having any shade whatsoever anymore was just a source of financial worry. "You know, I can no longer claim a tax for your shade. We're just gonna have to figure out how to fix this problem together." The tree cried. The boy said "Now, wait a minute. This is why I don't even really look forward to these important conversations. You're taking my statement of fact so personally. I'm not accusing you of anything." But the tree cried and cried, just the same.
It stopped being able to even draw nourishment for sleep, for sleep would not come. It stayed up half the night, reviewing all its mistakes. They had been many. Some of the mistakes had to do with giving in the first place. Others, with doing things to justify its worth in the eyes of the boy. One still had been an accident, rather than an outright mistake. The tree wasn't even sure if that was a good or bad thing, and besides, to figure that out would take precious rest time that it didn't have to begin with.
The tree then had to figure out what to do next. But it had a realization. "The main problem is that I am so unhappy because I do not feel like I have anything of worth to give to the boy. If I had, I reasoned, he would at least begrudgingly acknowledge that my mistakes were made out of love. But, I am worthy. If anything, my love was given selflessly for so long. All I asked for was a recognition that I had sacrificed, and why. When that didn't come, how foolish was I? I told myself it must be that I wasn't worthy if that recognition didn't come. I should have realized years ago that if anything, if my sacrifices meant next to nothing to the boy, other than inconveniences to be dealt with or worked around of, that made the boy unworthy of me, not the other way around."
When the tree realized that, it laughed itself to sleep, with a vague promise that it would never forget the realization it had, ever again.
If only the tale ended there.
Upon waking, the tree noticed that a flower around it was missing. The tree accumulated such things so it could bear its endless tendency to wither. Such trinkets helped remind it that life could still be beautiful. It had been so preoccupied with its thoughts last night that it hadn't noticed the missing flower until now.
The tree asked "Oh, where pray did the flower go?"
To which the boy's children responded "One of us took it"
"Why?"
"Because I liked it, and I wanted it", said the culprit.
To which the tree could not help but reply "ARE you F&*@ing kidding me???? How would you like it if I just started taking your stuff without so much as asking?"
The child who answered just shrugged. After all, it was the way all these things always worked out.
The tree wasn't ready to let it go "It's called stealing, and I don't like people who steal"
"Do you not like me?"
"Well yes, as a matter of fact, you stole my stuff and didn't so much as sound sorry to do so. I don't think I like you very much right now."
"Will you ever like me again?"
"For starters, I'll need an apology. And I'll need assurances you're not going about your whole life taking things that don't belong to you because you want them. What the ever loving F&*@? No decent person does that."
If only we could say that the tree was once more pleased and peaceful. Nope. Sorry. The truth of the matter was, it lived with more than one ungrateful boy. And it was done tolerating ungratefulness. So it just yelled at the children until they had done everything needed to be out of its sight.
The Giving Tree was f&*@ing done giving. Whether for a while or for good, it didn't even know.